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Men hanging by the chandeliers due to absurd Covid rules

Updated: Jan 24, 2021

The headline read "Quebecers will be able to hang out together indoors again by the end of June". Wild roars could be heard inside homes all across the belle province, but then, seemingly like everything else that has come out of this inexperienced government’s mouth we started hearing about the actual details, and the roars were quickly replaced by the sound of silence (nothing to do with my name).

Of course, being able to have guests indoors WAS a huge cause for celebration, because you see, guests round here are typically only allowed outside the home. Just like their canine friends in many warmer countries across the world, in Quebec, guests spend their time in cages and outhouses. But now, now, let's try and be "glass half full" given all we've been through this year, right?

Wrong (cue in the Donald).

So anyway, I remember when the news first broke, I was sitting there, stuck outside my house thinking about the gymnastics of all this. But first, you may be wondering why were you stuck outside? Since I was sneezing (mildly) that day my wife simply didn’t want to take a chance that it could be the dreaded "C" word- this despite the fact I get hay fever at the same exact time every single year- and suggested. Fortunately, I eventually got to come back in (though the image of being locked out all night like Fred Flintstone did cross my mind...)

But back to the gymnastics: so we can now gather inside, with up to 2 other households. Ok thus far. BUT then we must at ALL times stay 2 meters apart. Hmmm.

ONE, you better have an ENORMOUS living room. Think about it. 10 people. All 6 feet apart. Ladder them vertically perhaps?

Have a couple hanging onto the chandelier like Tarzan? Perhaps a couple of the guests playing Elves on a (wall) shelf?

I mean at this point we could divide them up in separate rooms and have them communicate via walkie-talkie? Or hell just text each other (people don’t talk much these days anyways).

Ah all this Covid ridiculousness is sure to drive more than a few of us completely bonkers by the time this pandemic is all over….

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