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Writer's picturePaul Simon

Blaming everything on "inflation"

Updated: Mar 6

The dreaded "I" word. It's become a part of our every day life. Grocery bills out of whack. Young and old scrambling to pay their exorbitant rent. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if people soon resort to renting out closets in others' apartments. Here's an ad soon to appear in your local paper: "6 x 6 loft closet, no amenities (except for the light switch outside the door), surrounding heat, street parking, includes hooks to hang your clothes".


Another thing is damn sure: my teenage jabronis will be living with me till they themselves have kids (and that could be decades as they barely know how to socialize with girls!). S O S !


We obviously all know the cost of everything has skyrocketed these past 3 years: shelter, food, entertainment, clothes, heck even buying the smallest of pets. Getting your pool cleaned? Good luck! The cost of chemicals like chlorine has gotten out of control! What used to be called the dollar store has now become the Twenty Dollar Store. Can you actually get anything for a dollar any more? I mean even panhandlers will scoff at you if you dare give them a measly loonie... Window shopping has slowly become the only form of shopping left for many of us!


So, last summer I asked for a quote to fix my outdoor front steps. There were some cracks here and there and I wanted to have them patched, and so we looked at a rubber surfacing solution.

The company sent a rep over who took dimensions and said he would provide me with an estimate shortly thereafter. "It's not going to be several thousand dollars is it? I don't need anything too high-end honestly". "Oh but surrrrr " answered the gentleman with a thick Middle-Eastern accent " cost go up you know...rrrrrubber price go up a lot, labourrrrrrr toooo, tayeb, don't worrrrry (I was) I get back to you we give your ourrrrr best prrrrice of courrrrse". "Of course" I replied, unknowingly playing the parakeet. "Rubberrrr surrrrfacing lasts loooong time, less likely you slip on it too".


2 days later I rrrrreceived the estimate by email (was very reluctant to open it): a whopping 12000$! Yes, you heard right. 12 f'kn K! To patch a few outdoor cement stairs that had some minor cracks in them. I hadn't asked for marble stairs, or a naked Greek God statue made of gold to be put on my front yard, just some patching of some stairs! And this was their prrrrreferred price? Preferred pricing for suckers maybe. Did I have clownfish lips? Had the price of their materials gone up that much. I mean a neighbor across the street had had his outdoor steps resurfaced 5 years ago for 2400$! Ah but yes, "Inflation"....


I would have rather built some outdoor steps made with ice blocks, gladly taking the risk of slipping once in a while! As for the cost of labor going up, do you know many people around you who have gotten a 100% raise a year post-pandemic!!? It just felt like anything could now be dubbed "inflation" without any supporting evidence provided at all and that there were enough fools out there to gladly gobble up any lies tossed at them....


We all know that the more likely answer is that companies are simply trying to recoup their early pandemic losses by lifting prices way above cost, gauging clients and using the "I" word as justification to "inflate" their profit margins. Pinocchio would sure be proud of these compulsive liars........












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