Old Man Winter strikes again
Old Man Winter. Ya either hate him....or you really f'n hate him. If you live in a part of the world that has harsh winters, then you...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 31, 2022
- 3 min
Let's put an end to nonsensical idioms (Part Deux)
So about those really, really silly and illogical idioms. Which ones drive you absolutely nuts? Or, cross that, crazy. Because driving...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 29, 2022
- 3 min
Please, stop with your g'damn Charley Horse
It is one of my biggest pet peeves. Expressions that make absolutely no sense. Real head-scratchers. You hear someone use one, and it...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 11, 2022
- 5 min
Good Customer Service is something that died a LONG time ago
We have all had, at one point or another, a horrendous customer service experience. Whether it happened at the airport, while checking...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 8, 2022
- 3 min
Save the kids from becoming extraterrestrials!
In Back to the Future, once Marty had returned from the 1950s and saved his family, his plan was just to enjoy the moment, his new life,...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 6, 2022
- 4 min
She told me how to walk this way....
No, no she didn't. This is on YOU and YOU only. And frankly, there is only one way to resolve this matter: hand you a 500$...
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Paul Simon
- Nov 23, 2021
- 5 min
Serve it up (but don't expect me to eat it)
We've all had this nightmare at least once in our lifetime. Receiving that dreaded dinner invitation that you just can't say no to. And...
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Paul Simon
- Oct 18, 2021
- 3 min
You'd make Pinocchio proud (on exaggerated advertising)
A couple of weeks ago, as I sat in the chair getting my dental procedure, an advertisement on the screen in front of me caught my...
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Paul Simon
- Oct 15, 2021
- 4 min
Mr Dressup caught shopping at local superstore
If you live in a relatively posh neighborhood like I do, there is a certain level of shame at being caught shopping at your local dollar...
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Paul Simon
- May 5, 2021
- 3 min
Punching a Polymath square in the mouth
I'm sure you've met one. You know, that person in your family or group of friends that can fix anything. Not just fix anything, but build...
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Paul Simon
- Feb 27, 2021
- 3 min
Manipulative advertising: Are they taking us for bozos?
Our favorite Canadian coffee chain (The One who shall Not be named- to quote Harry Potter) recently launched a series of TV ads...
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Paul Simon
- Feb 17, 2021
- 2 min
Turning Hospitals into Big Top Circuses
As I left the hospital a couple of days ago, I noticed how drab and depressing everything was. It had been a while since I'd set foot in...
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Paul Simon
- Feb 9, 2021
- 2 min
Even Frankenstein had a "beautiful" baby
My wife, who's actually an introvert, has this disturbing propensity to talk to strangers. Not in a creepy way and not with every...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 31, 2021
- 3 min
Physio or Sex therapy? Alternative treatment at the local clinic
Many years ago I was dealing with significant ankle pain. And so, like every reasonable, logical individual would do, I booked an...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 30, 2021
- 3 min
Super Mario overindulges on (Magic) Mushrooms
October 1995. After graduating from University, I had decided to leave my hometown of Montreal in the hopes of finding a job in beautiful...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 26, 2021
- 3 min
Say it don't spray it: a beginner's guide on how to handle Spitters
People who spit when they talk. It has to be my ultimate pet peeve. Hard to imagine its not on your list either. There is this guy I...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 24, 2021
- 5 min
The Fruitopians have GOT to GO
So here we are, awaiting the NHLPA and the Board of Governors to sign off on what looks to be a 50 or so game season. No exhibition...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 17, 2021
- 2 min
Prescription sleeping pill turns woman into Solomon Grundy
Put your hand way up if you've ever been terrorized by some of the prescription drug ads on TV? You know that moment. A commercial pops...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 10, 2021
- 3 min
Wobbly pigeon ends up in wrong Hospital room
A few years ago (pre cell phone years), I was taking a stroll in downtown Montreal, when I attempted to cross one of our third-world...
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Paul Simon
- Jan 9, 2021
- 1 min
Uncomfortable conversations in public washrooms
Ever since I was a teenager it was always a bit of an awkward moment when another dude would come empty their socket in the urinal next...
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